The Biology of Screen Time Nobody Talks About: Dirt on Knees? or Dinosaurs on Screens?

Never ask a man his salary.

Never ask a woman her age.

And in recent times, a new one has been added to this list. 

Never ask a parent about their child’s screen time.

For the sake of everyone’s well-being and to avoid shock, I don’t think anybody answers this correctly.

The Three Questions That Haunt Modern Parents

Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by technology decisions for your children? You’re not alone. Three questions keep parents awake at night:

1. Should we introduce technology to children? If yes, then how much? If no, then why not?
2. If I decide to introduce technology to my child, then what is the optimum duration that balances fun without creating addiction?
3. Given that we are increasingly seeing the negative effects of technology, should I just stop it completely? But I’m scared because technology is all around us.

If you’ve been following my writing, you already know my stance: Technology has absolutely no business in children’s lives, at least until the age of 15 years. This isn’t something that I causally believe in – it is what I have advocated in my blogs too.

In Parents’ Guide to Selecting the Right Kind of School I advocated towards selecting a school that believes and keeps the role of technology to a minimum In the curriculum. And in Indian EdTech- Post Covid Reflections and Analysis, I mention why it is extremely tough to integrate technology (the way pandemic imagined) at ECCE and K-12 level.

Who Am I to Make This Claim?

I stand at the intersection of multiple worlds: 

• I have taught 100+ ultra-rich children and also under-privileged children as their teacher;
• I am raising a 5-year-old daughter (so, that makes her a COVID-19 child);
• I have worked as a consultant in education, advising companies and governments on technology integration, and 
• I have even been part of the edtech ecosystem, helping increase technology adoption in education.

So when I tell you technology is harmful for children, it’s not because I don’t understand technology—it’s precisely because I do.

Our Thumbs Made Us Human – A Screens are Now Screens are Reversing It

Think about this: What made us human? Let us consider these fundamental truths:

• Fact #1: Human beings have 99% of their DNA similar to chimpanzees.
• Fact #2: What made us different? Our thumbs! Human evolution happened because we have longer, opposable thumbs that are longer than those of other primates. These thumbs  can touch other fingers, and let us grasp things easily. On an evolutionary level, that helped us use tools, eat more meat, and develop bigger brains.

Now, try this experiment:

Imagine scrolling your phone using your thumb. What’s happening? Your thumb has become shorter, smaller, and is moving in an isolated manner without touching your other fingers. This is exactly the opposite of how humans evolved! Humans became humans because our thumbs could touch and grasp, and the usage of digital devices are reversing this development.

And again:

Place your index finger on a screen, making those tapping, swiping motions so common today. Think about everything you do with your hands throughout the day. Is any of it similar to how you use your index finger on a screen? No! Search your memory—in all the rich human activity throughout history, can you find any parallel to this unnatural isolation? Study the dance traditions of any culture, from the refined mudras of classical Indian dances to the expressive hand movements of flamenco—nowhere will you find a single finger performing in isolation while its neighbors remain inert.

Make no mistake: The way technology forces our hands to move is not merely different—it is a direct assault on the very motor skills that have defined human capability for years. This is not progress; it is regression.

Digital Withdrawal: The Tantrums Aren’t Just Bad Behavior

Think about how you feel coming out of a movie theatre. Aren’t you in another zone, another world? Sometimes we walk out not even knowing if it’s day or night – that’s how absorbed we become. Now think about our reaction when family members, our friends, our loved ones,  interrupt us while we are watching reels, news, YouTube shorts, or podcasts. We get irritated! We tell them you’re busy.

Let me put this plainly: When someone who loves us approaches while we are focused on content from a 2^nd person miles away, on a 3^rd unrelated issue, we get annoyed, our annoyance revealing the emotional reordering that screens have accomplished.  And we are adults – supposedly caring, kind, understanding, and supposedly equipped with the emotional regulation that comes with maturity!

Now imagine a 3, 7 or a 10-year-old playing games on a phone. The digital world is bursting with colors, flying things, dinosaurs, balls – all engaging and interactive. Children play on screens, earn points, going to the next level, feel the rush of achievement. Then the device switches off, and what’s left? The real world – with no flying dinosaurs, no vibrant animations, no instant rewards for finishing homework. Boring, right? The ordinary world, by comparison, seems drained of color and significance.

The tantrums that follow when devices are removed are not mere childish stubbornness—they are the authentic symptoms of withdrawal. The irritability, the emotional dysregulation, the desperate longing for the device’s return—these are the hallmarks of dependence, no different in their neurological basis from other forms of addiction.

Here’s something even more revealing on a personal front – and, this is downright shameful and embarrassing: When I use my phone more for a couple of days, I end up losing my patience and shouting at my child more often. When I delete Instagram, Facebook or other social media apps, and put my phone aside, I become a loving mother again – fully preent and more genuinely engaged – a mother worthy of the name. The difficulty of switching between digital and real worlds affects even adults – children simply cannot make this distinction clearly.

If we adults struggle to maintain the boundary between digital and physical reality, how can we expect our children—with their still-developing prefrontal cortices and limited impulse control—to navigate this divide?

The Outdoor Play Crisis: The Research We Need to Consider

American psychology researcher and scholar, Peter Gray has documented how children today, due to the decline of outdoor play, have worse emotional health simply because they are stuck indoors rather than playing outside in the sunshine and fresh air, depriving of the very experiences that have nurtured healthy human development since time immemorial. He has also talked about this in his very famous TEDx  – The Decline of Play and Rise of Mental Disorders

Coming Back to Our Three Questions

1. Should we introduce technology to children? The evidence compels us to a firm conclusion: NO. While passive entertainment like television might have limited harmful effects, or even a little bit of fun and family time,  placing interactive technology directly in our children’s hands invites disaster.
2. What is the optimum duration?  And
3. How do we manage technology in a tech-saturated world?

I would be diving into questions 2 and 3, in my forthcoming blog, wherein I will attempt to explore practical strategies for parents to minimize technology’s role in our children’s lives, even as digital temptations multiply around us.

Today, we stand at a crossroads. The choices we make today regarding technology in our children’s lives will echo through generations. This is not merely a parenting decision; it is a defining moment in human development. Let us not be the generation that surrendered our children’s development to the false promises of technological progress. Let us instead be remembered as the parents who preserved the essence of childhood and uniquely human capacities, inspite of the raising benefits of technology.

Disclaimer
Am I a parent who has completely removed technology from my child’s life? No. Do I sometimes resort to screens during meals? 100 percent. Have I handed my daughter a device just to catch my breath? Absolutely. Do I download videos for travel? Without a doubt. Does my child play mobile games? Maybe once a month, at most. Do we watch Disney movies together? A lot! I am not perfect, and I don’t pretend to be. Grandparents often say I am too strict—more times than I can count. And my daughter, without fail, every day, tells me that all her friends have fun and I am the most boring parent ever. And frankly, I couldn’t care much – and that’s okay. Because my home walls are full of crayon colors and my child is more outside, than inside. Reducing technology isn’t about perfection or elimination; it’s an ongoing process—one that requires constant awareness and intention. I always say – As parents, our duty is not to entertain, but to equip our children.